How To Win Friends & Influence People was first published in 1937 in an edition of only five thousands copies. It’s now one of the all-time international bestsellers with more than 16 million sold.
It’s also the basis of our next Savvy Personal Development program – so get the book to read.
In his exuberant, conversational style, internationally bestselling author Dale Carnegie offers practical advice and techniques for how to get out of a mental rut and make your life more rewarding.
His advice has stood the test of time and will tell you how to:
• Make friends quickly and easily
• Win people over to your way of thinking
• Improve your conversation skills and become more entertaining
• Acquire new clients and customers
“How to Win Friends and Influence People has the potential to turn around your relationships and improve your dealings with all of the people in your life.”
That’s a justifiably bold statement, but it’s worth keeping in mind that the book is aimed primarily at business relationships (when you have something to sell or promote), and less-so at personal relationships, where you expect people to see both your ups and your downs.
Exerpts from the book:
‘I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,’ said [Charles] Schwab, ‘the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.’
“Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships. ‘If there is any one secret of success,’ said Henry Ford, ‘it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.’ ”
“Criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home.”
Following is Dale Carnegie’s summary of his 1936 book.
Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Part Two: Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Part Three: Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.
Part Four: Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
That’s the blurb (get a free copy giveaway further down).